People tend to walk out of my life a lot, especially the ones I always say I need the most. But I guess it’s for the best, ‘cause things happen for a reason. Something good leaves for something better, I think. Can’t blame anyone though, because while I’m sitting here thinking about how much effort I put to keep the friendship / relationship tight, I realize that I faded on other people. And those other people, probably have the same thoughts, and in their world, I’m the one who walked out. It’s just ‘cause we all try to do the right thing, right ? Crazy ass cycle we have to go through just to reach the happy ending.
I haven’t had feelings for anyone in over a year now, but I met this guy and well we’re in that talking stage. I don’t know if I like him or if its just that I haven’t liked someone so long I feel the need to. Is it possible to forget how to crush? Whatever, it’s summer. Fuck it. I’ll figure it out.
I’m usually okay with what they have to say, most of the time I agree. I know all they want is the best for me and all the cliché shit they have to say, but theres a point where their ” I’m trying to protect you ” becomes ” I want you to stay home until forever, never get a life, oh and I’d like to pack your lunch for work everyday too “. Today, well yesterday, I was supposed to go see my bestfriend from where I used to live. I don’t ask to go out much cause I wanna make sure that when I really want to go theres a better chance they’ll say yes. Well they said no. I haven’t seen my bestfriend in 8 months. All we were gonna do was go to a pizzeria near where he lives, hang out there for a couple of hours and that was it. All I asked for and they said no. I wish they knew how good of a guy he is. My mom says if he really wanted to come see you he’d come see you here. Who the fuck is gonna drive 45 minutes to come see me ? Maybe I don’t mean all he means to me, but he’s really my bestfriend and I wanna see him. My dad didn’t really give me an explanation for saying no, I’ll talk to him tomorrow, when my mom isn’t there. I’m really a good kid and they know it, I don’t ask for much. I’m old enough to know good from bad. Yes he’s a boy, and the two others who might’ve been there were gonna be boys too, but after I moved they’re the only ones who stuck around. Trust me, this visit to go see Andy, Nicko and Roger would of made my whole summer.
